I was really sorry to read your post too.
I think you're very lucky you're not still out there today (and tomorrow and the next day and...). Experience shows that just one time can send us on our way out the door for good. The last time I tried getting high just one more time after retuning home from a vacation, I wound up using day and night for 6 solid months, harder than I ever had before. I am grateful that I had any capacity at all to recognize it was beyond time to stop.
So...welcome back. Truly.
One thing I was trying to understand was if you were also completely abstaining from alcohol during those 25 months.
What did you do that was working before? What did you do that didn't help to keep you clean last night?