Hey I have never been in your exact situation but just wanted to offer a little encouragement. One of my friends got sober in South America, he went to Spanish speaking meetings. They told him if he was struggling with his Spanish to share in english, after all the share is really for the person sharing, especially early on... Good luck... welcome to a new life
edit: I too experienced suicidal thoughts for the first time after abstinence... Talk to a counselor about it and keep working those steps... I find a good first step without any followup just leads me to depression...