I think once they are gone we have unrealistic expectations. We think kicking them out is like a magic potion and that once he is gone he will realize just what he lost and then everything is going to be different and it is very disappointing when it is not. They seem to care even less then they did when they were living at home.
You'd think they would call more, care more, be concerned more, but it is quite the opposite ... and it sends us into an emotional turmoil wondering how could he/she be so uncaring.
The truth of the matter is that now they have even more time to focus on their addiction .. they don't have to worry about hiding it from you and can use in peace. And pull the guilt trip, "well isn't this what you wanted, me gone. I'm gone now you should be happy, but you're not, your still bytching at me" at least that is the way it was for me with Scotty.
I had to finally realize that Scotty was Scotty and he was going to use regardless. I had to stop expecting him to change and step up to the plate myself and be the difference that I wanted to see in my life.
It wasn't easy, but it got easier with each blow of disappointment he threw my way eventually curved into a strength for me. I grew and changed so much. I no longer had a head knowledge that I couldn't depend on Scotty, but a heart knowledge and I embraced who he was today and not what I hoped he would be tomorrow and began to lean on me, myself and I, but more importantly on God.
He can careless because he is desensitized and his emotions have been locked away far down deep behind the prison cell of his addiction and I can bet that things will begin to spiral down even further. They usually get worse.
I'm sure not what you wanted to hear, but the hard, cold truth.
Just try and remain focused as to why you are where you are and what the purpose is. Focus on your recovery and remember as long as you are well and healthy minded your kids will be too
You'll get through this and you'll be a stronger person in the long run.
And deep down I hope you know that there isn't anything you did/didn't, could have/should have done differently that would make him do drugs. He used because he is an addict plain and simple. It doesn't have anything to do with you and everything to do with him.
Hugs and prayers for you and your children,
Passion