Crashed

Hi Guys,

Well I guess first of all I should give abit of background...

I started drinking when I was 14, my dad had just died and I'm not sure if I used that as an excuse to drink or it was an escape... but the fact is I started to drink. At first the general teen binge, but soon started during the week... sometimes in school with my friends or at home alone (the joys of fake ID!) My friends by the way dont have any problem with drinking.

Anyway, by 16 I was thrown out of my mums house (due to drink) as I got unessasarily vilent with my step father (my mum was married before my dad died).

Well living on my own at 16 while still in school was obviously a big excuse to drink and party... so I carried on.

I got involved with a guy who was older then me, and spent alot of his time out in the bars and clubs (again he doesnt have a problem) and so drinking became the norm.

My drinking has got worse and more requent ever since, and I broke up with the guy I was with... probibly drink related, although it was a mutual desision I think the drink was the reason it didnt work.

I ended up moving south about 200 miles... from all my family and friends (apart from one guy I knew down here) and guess what... the drink carried on an he departed.

I have drank every day for as long as I can remember now, I dont drink all day but as soon as I finish work on on the drink... with the intention to get drunk. If I get held back at work.. then I drink quicker when I get home to make up for the lost time. I went to the doctors about 6 months ago because I was worried, he said I definatly need to get help and give me a couple of numbers and a liver test.

I got the results back and he told me I had some sort of enzyme elevation and stuff. I decided I would get help, but guess what... I drank instead.

Im 21 now and still drinking daily. After work I will drink 8 cans of carling. If im not in work god knows how much I drink... I start when I wake up.

Most times I wake up on the sofa at 4 in the morning and drag maself into bed... usually I dont even remeber this - obviously my partner does.

Well, ive been here before sending a message on this forum once, I never logged on again but well ive recently started to feel diffrent and really need and want help.

I get really bad prickles all over my body, a couple of times a day. Some times so unbarable that when im at work I will have to go toilet to scratch and bare it.
I constantly shaking untill I have a drink... and sweat all the time too...
My energy is always none existant... which in my role at work is a big no...


Reaso of this... is how do I help myself... whats the best way... :o(