Banana--
Well you know me, so we can skip the whole AA hardliner thing... nothing against it, I'm just not that.
Does it work?
If it works...
As far as those spiritual awakenings, or as I tend to view them, new realities... 'cause thats what they are--they hit me hard enough, and prove that they are in fact the reality I should have seen all along--give them time. They don't come on command, nor do you want them that way.
How it works (in my life, and yeah, bubbaland's a strange place) is it'll happen in EXACTLY the way that *I* will comprehend. In other words, in y'all case, it'll happen in a way YOU can understand... You don't want to rush it, and more importantly, it's so weirdly accurate, you find yourself kinda shy after it does happen....
Because who the heck are you to know my brain?
Banana, I think you're on the right path... keep marching lady.
We're here.