Yes Taz, we annas are a twisted lot. I find OA meetings and literature often seem to drive me deeper into the arms of my murderous mistress...sigh.
And reading anna recovery blogs etc, the same.
I am hoping the NA steps will help. I am a multiple addict/abuser, but have never been physically hooked on alcohol.
I am finding my eating issues to be the most difficult to give up and comes to terms with, but then my ED are my oldest addictions, back into early childhood, and closely related to self injury addictions which stem back to my preschool days...sooo...it's really like giving up lifelong friends that "got me this far"...crazy thinking, but that is how it feels.
I feel like I've hit a wall, but I'm not giving up.
I will work the steps best I can, and continue to address ana...honestly, expose it for exactly what it is and learn that I can live a better life without it. It feels like someone is trying to rip my security blanket from me.
I was glad to get clean of substances, cutting, etc..but this one..I seem to be almost in love with. Scary