Can't work right now, KJ. Against nursing board rules for me to be working with a suspended license. I am trying to find other ways of keeping busy...going hour to hour right now. But, you know how that goes...it's like watching paint dry. I am just trying to get through to tomorrow. My husband will be home. I just need that extra support tonight.
I am going to continue going to the IOP classes even though I won't be mandated to go any longer after tomorrow night. I don't have a sponsor yet. Very hard to come by so far. Plenty of men in my recovery group...but the women don't have enough clean time...or less than I do. That's what I'm finding so far. I'm watching TV, reading, listening to music. Going to hit a hot shower or bath to alleviate these restless legs of mine. I think that's making matters worse. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up and have it be tomorrow. The nights are really long when you feel this way. I haven't felt like this since I relapsed. I just feel...distraught and overwhelmed.
Thank you for the offer to call. I'm going to try to woman up and see how long I can handle this on my own...but if anything changes, believe me, I will take you up on that!
you're a love. thank you!