I hate that no matter how much I feel I've grown, detached, made good personal choices, taken my own issues to heart, he can with one drunk rampage make me sit it this da** computer, heart pounding, hands shaking and blood coursing at break-neck speed through my veins!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who has the right to be so ugly. I have a friend who does that? Consequence: we are really no longer friends! I have a husband, on the other hand, and I'm feeling the wedding band on my finger close like a noose around my neck! I'm so angry right now, I will just be mercilessly venting. The tender at heart should skip this stupid thread right now, the vengeful..... stay with me!!!! When I get angry... I shut down! When I get scared? I shut down. I'm so da** sick of being shut down, but I know to show emotion would probably lead to the violence I believe him capable of, so thinly controlled! My plan sounds better and more sane each and every f***ing day. I never swear, I never rant, I am known for the steady eddy approach, but tonight..... I'm mad, I'm hurt, I'm disappointed. Hope is a scary thing, Y'all, don't go there unless you feel ready to be stepped on and railed against.....
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.. gee, I think I'm done. Sorry
Pam