Like toilet paper stuck on your shoe, you know the one that he sh!t on????
You may never be able to get the sticky smell off it...because sh!t stinks, it just does.
Might have to trash those shoes in the dumpster.
Knowing just hurts you...that is all it does.
He has hurt you enough.
Try to be nicer to yourself than he was and is and don't look for pain.
I don't know what he is doing, but whatever it is there isn't a thing you can do about it.
Gosh, why don't you imagine all the rottenest, meanest things he has said and done to you and imagine he he is doing it to her, because he will, he will.
That's a torture fantasy that would be based on reality.