I will do some digging and see if I can find the major part of the story. I posted previously under another name. When I registered on this site I was dumb enough to use a username and password that he and I used on alot of other accounts...duh! Then he came back from rehab and kept using my laptop while I was at work. Decided it was time to change my name.
The words I used went something like this...
"I refuse to get in the same car, and drive down the same road with you, thinking I will end up in a different place. I have been down that road so many times before, and I deserve better. If you are not willing to try to make it better, I will do it on my own. It's your choice."
I was also very clear that if he entered and completed rehab, I made no guarantees about the future of our relationship. I have not told him that I love him or I miss him since he left for treatment, and probably way before he left. I just stopped saying the words - because I wasn't sure I meant it. I try to keep physical contact to a minimum - have not kissed him since before this all happened. I want to be sure I mean these things before I do anything to make him think there is a glimmer of hope to this relationship.
We have been separated since mid-September. He comes to my house to see the kids, and eat dinner with them when he is not working. He also comes over here to check the computer to see when he is going to work (although he has a computer at home) - my therapist pointed out that he is still manipulating the situation so he can still come to the house everyday...she is right.
So last week I told him I didn't want to see him for a few days and sent our son to stay with him at his house. He showed up friday nite, wanting to take me to dinner because he missed me. I told him he hasn't given me the chance to miss him yet, he is here all the time anyway.
He got the hint.