This thread is a blessing to me today, because I woke up questioning whether I am REALLY helpless, and wondering if maybe. someday. after I get my issues sorted, if I won't be able to use again on a social basis.
And just having those thoughts scared me and I felt like "how am I ever supposed to get anywhere...if I am still, on some level, questioning my addiction. I mean I really thought I was past THAT, ages ago, but there it was in my mind.
That deflated me this morning, it really did. But I got up, and knew that I was still going to work my recovery program. Reminded myself that the elements of sobriety are available to me, if I am willing. That I AM willing,and that sobriety is NOT struggling, it's stopping to make choices instead of letting the paranoid addict in me dictate my behavior impulsively.
I wasnt' craving to use at the time, wasn't tempted. but the thought that maybe I could use again was still there. I just trust that the craving and temptation won't be issues, and if they are, I'll remember that the elements of sobriety are always available to me if I am willing to use them, and I have no reason to think I will not be willing.
I really needed to know that others in recovery have that thought, and how folks further along than me address it, so thank you all for posting here.
today, I again choose the elements of sobriety. Today, again, I am willing.