Welcome, Here! It's wonderful you've found us and we hope you stay. SR helped me get up the courage to quit after many years of dependency. I used it to mask my feelings & kill my emotions. Without it I had to learn to live again and it was hard in the beginning. My first few days off it were sheer misery, but it looks like you've made it through.
I hope you can see far enough down the road to know you won't feel this way forever. OK, you have some things to be sad about, but don't let that keep you from moving forward and living the life you're entitled to. You are obviously intelligent with a good sense of humor. You have everything it takes to have a wonderful new life. All the misery can be a distant memory one day. Please let us know how it's going for you. We care.