I know exactly how you feel. I feel all of those things myself right now. I joined SR a week ago and even in this short time, I am feeling a little better every day. I am hooked to this site and find a lot of comforting and insightful words of wisdom. I started keeping a journal and that also helps a lot.
Keep visiting, I'm sure your heart is heavy now as is mine, but we need to take it "a day at a time."
(((hugs)))