Originally Posted by
barb dwyer 
Maybe take a moment
and go back and read
that first post on this thread.
I really like this suggestion. Why don't you read what was in your heart when you started this thread, Jason, before the ten beers or however many you may have had.
I'll have you know that I posted on this forum for months while I was popping pills and I was serious about quitting. I just couldn't begin to grasp how to quit or how this meeting stuff would do anything to help me. But, I eventually came to trust the people here and I started going to meetings (without my family knowing, which is harder than hell to do). Lunch time is a good time for meetings. What about hobbies? Do you have a hobby? I used to go to a climbing gym a couple of times a week. So, I stopped all my climbing and started attending meetings instead. Of course, my husband thought that I was still climbing.
And, I still kept taking pills. I wanted to stop. I really wanted to stop. Well, I wanted the insanity that was making me want to use to stop. How could I want to stop so much and still find myself wanting to use???? I concluded that I was going insane. Fellow addicts on SR assured me that I wasn't insane. I was merely experiencing the insanity of addiction. So, I continued to go to meetings.
Jason, my story started here in November of 2008. It's November 2009 and I
finally have a little over 90 days off those pills. Why do I finally have 90 days? Because I really wanted to stop. All the same, it took me months to surrender and there's still a great deal more that I need to surrender.
I'm glad that one of those things is no longer the need to tell my family. As I've told you, my family has known about my disease since May. I'm praying for you that you too will come to know the life-giving relief that this admission of truth will bring you. I know it's not easy, Jason. None of it's
easy. If it were, we'd all be clean yesterday.
Anticipating the first meeting is torture. Haven't you had enough of that? Once you've gotten past that first one, it gets remarkably easier. Then, it begins to make a difference in you. For some, the change comes right away.