The hesitation to marry him seems more than fear to me. I used to feel this way with xabf. After leaving and all the distance, I think my gut was telling me something was wrong before he fessed up about his drinking.
I think fear can also be powerful, though. I am with someone now that appears to be wonderful. There is no hesitation for me to be involved with him, just fear the other shoe will drop. This is hard to fight against. So, I'm just going along for the ride at this point to see where it takes me.