Originally Posted by
Jason R 
Do you think there is anyway I can do this without my wife knowing? I don't want her to be concerned and realize that my drinking is worse than she had thought. I just don't want her to worry.
Jason -
We alcoholics think that we are so sneaky, but most of the time our spouses know that something was going on.
You need to focus on your recovery... that is your #1 priority.
Since recovery is about
:
- One, not drinking, and then
- Two, working on the underlying problems as to why you were drinking, I think that you can't go on without telling your spouse.
For me, if I continued to lie to my spouse, those lies (to sneak out to meetings) would just continue to eat at me until they would cause me to drink. Also, as she might figure out that you are lying, she would probably think that it is an affair not that you are going to a bunch of meetings trying to help yourself. So why make her "make up the worst possible situtuation" when you are just trying to proactively be the best person you can be to yourself and her.
So, the simple answer for me was to confess everything to my wife. Keep in mind that if you have done a great job hiding it, her first response might be "No, you aren't an alcoholic." This is a defense mechanism that they will have to help them with the stigma of alcoholism (e.g. "not in my family!"), but YOU KNOW the truth.
In the end, she was amazingly supportive - once she had the facts.
Keep posting. SR is a great place to obtain and maintain your recovery.