I have read this over and over and it is almost too painful to keep reading. I have posted many things about the relationship that I had with a friend that has been a living nightmare for over a year. She doesn't want to give up and I seem to be tangled in this web down in a hole and if I climb out of the hole the web chokes me and if I get out of the web then I can't climb out of the hole. I have realized that although this friend has hurt me deeply, she didn't mean to do it. It was a domino effect from many situations that have happened in our early relationship.
I am understanding that she was the mother, sister, close friend and compassionate listener that I never had growing up and that I don't have in my marriage. I just had a hard time walking away and I still have a hard time walking away.
It seems so encouraging that I could be happy in a friendship. I have sworn that I will never get close to ANYONE like this again. It was too damaging. I just want to be able to heal from this situation. All the therapy in the world does not help me to believe that it would be safe to get involved with a friend again. At 45 I think being alone is a better option. My husband is a good man, but not an emotional man. I love him deeply and my relationship with this girlfriend almost killed our marriage. I can't let that happen again.
How do you start coping? How do you move on? Most importantly... How do you feel happy and joyful in a relationship? It seems very strange that after 45 yrs that I could do that. I am too old to make NEW friends. Most people are already in very close relationships at this age and it is not doable.
Thanks for the hope, but I am still skeptical.