One thing I had started to resort to was mirroring my AH's bad behavior, because I thought, if he can do it why can't I?
I stopped myself QUICKLY even when it sometimes resulted in me admitting my wrongs or not getting to do what felt best in the heat of the moment.
I realized I want to be an ethical person who stuck to her values, not someone who behaved as erratically as the worst person she was around. I feel stronger and have better self esteem because I know I am making sound choices and behaving well (at least much better than I used to at times!) rather than engaging in negative behaviors and thoughts.
Good post.