To Nelco and Donna,
Nelco, I was upset when you suggested I wasn't taking recovery seriously because I am.
I remember you saying once that when you were going to drink wild horses couldn't have stopped you and how grateful you were that your obsession had been removed...but then you blamed me because mine hasn't been removed.
It is possible to be trying hard, to be serious and yet still have the obsession. It is possible to be going to meetings and trying hard to work the Program and still the emotional pain and insanity is building up and for the switch to go off....the switch that says, "despite all I know, I have to drink because it is the only thing that will stop this"....and I have no defence.
This is not me using step 1 as an excuse, I want to be sober, I do not want to drink and so don't need to find excuses. I just want to explain how someone can be doing their best and still slip.
Donna, what I have said to Nelco applies to you too, plus that I do not appreciate you taking my inventory like you did, especially as you were wrong. Also if you react with anger when an alcoholic slips then something is not right with your attitude.
I was going to leave the thread because you both upset me with your assumptions, I still might. I just wanted to explain how I feel to you both.
I hope no-one else on this thread slips but if they do, I hope you treat them with more compassion than judgement.