I was a loner for so long because all my relationships were so dysfunctional. I was always getting hurt. I felt it was just better to be alone, but after I got into some recovery and found out how to have healthy relationships, I am so happy. I want healthy relationships in my life, it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.There is such a joy that I can't even descibe it. I always felt like there was this void in my life, and I tried all kinds of ways to fill it, only I was still lonely. I don't feel that void anymore. I can trust myself to make healthy decisions about what kind of relationships I want in my life and I can let go of those that are not good for me. I am not afraid anymore, I don't want to be alone anymore, it hurts too much. I have learned so much from being in recovery and listening to other people. I hope that you will seek to understand why we are the way we are and that there is hope for us. We can change, we can learn better coping skills. I always knew that there was a better life for me, in my heart of hearts I knew.