I don't want to hijack FS's thread either but...
Just can't see myself being as happy as everybody with lots of time on this site, I suppose. Like it's for other people, just like happiness is for other people nowadays in my life.
Your mistake is thinking you're the only person who ever felt like this TB.
I stayed sober for a long long time because I didn't want to die...I figured emptiness would be the price I'd pay for being alive.
But once I got the not drinking bit down, I was free to look at what else was going on....
I'm full of metaphor today...but it was like the tide went out and all the old stuff was revealed again...stuck right there in the muck.
I started to pick up the debris and build a new life...and...it just happened...I got happy. Not overnight, and not so that I was aware it was happening, but it did. And it stayed.
I'd spent 30 years being unhappy. Even before my first drink.
Realising I wasn't anymore? That was a *spin*.
It will happen for you guys too - all you need is the commitment not to drink anymore... and the courage to accept that that's the tip of the iceberg.
And the patience.
LOTS of patience.
OK that's enough outa me LOL
go easy you guys
D