Hi there reverse
Originally Posted by
reverse 
..."I am not entitled to the family member I "should" have, I am only entitled to the one that I've got." ...
That line is for people who are trying to _change_ their family member, which obviously you are not trying to do. There's another line that says "Take what you like, and leave the rest", which means that the program of recovery needs a little fine-tuning to fit each of our specific needs.
Originally Posted by
reverse ...Not sure it is correct, but it sickens me to think I owe my parents ANYTHING when they have done NOTHING but hurt me and cause me grief since DAY ONE! Dont' I have that right to protect myself?
Sounds perfectly correct to me
What works for me is to see my parents as the biological accident of my creation. In my case, they didn't do for me anything I could not have got at an orphanage. Like yours, I would have been treated better at an orphanage. They were just the sperm and egg donors, nothing more.
I have found other folks that are kind and decent, and we've sort of "adopted" each other. They are my "family of choice", and the ones I do love and respect.
All of which is my long winded way of saying; yeah I agree with you.
Mike