We do understand how very hard it is.
When I knew I had to stop drinking, I couldn't even imagine getting through a day without alcohol. Like you, my health was suffering. Thank god, I made that choice more than 9 years ago, and I am here, enjoying the gift of two grandchildren this year.
My suggestion is to change your routines. That really, really helped me. If cleaning the kitchen at the end of the day is a trigger, can you do it at another time? Can your husband help you and you switch to another chored? Do whatever it takes. And, if you are an alcoholic, you can never drink again. But, don't focus on that.