Well, quit drinking for a year or two. That should clear up the question of are you or aren't you.
How does the thought of not drinking for a couple of years make you feel? How does the thought of never having another drink make you feel?
I'm not trying to be flip or make light. I am an alcoholic who felt the same way about the wine I like(d). The thought of never having another glass caused some grief and takes some getting used to.
Be well