Originally Posted by smacked

Glad you checked in today Jo, good morning!

I also didn't really announce anything to anyone.. course some 'friends' wondered why I wasn't at the bar, or ordering drinks.. but I came to notice they really didn't care what I did anyways, they were just bar buds. No reason for anyone else to hold me accountable, this was and is my deal, all the way. To anyone around me, I'm simply a non-drinker now, because I used to drink too much. That's plenty of info, the rest is my responsibility. I never would have quit if I put any type of responsibility on anyone else for my sobriety, by the time I was as drunk as I was towards the end, I could have manipulated anyone into telling me it was ok to drink again.. sick, yes.. but also true. I probably still could. That's why the drive, committment, determination and responsibility have to come from the core of your being. A decision to change your entire life, and follow through.

My husband also (many years ago) reacted defensively almost about my proclamation that I was an alcoholic or that I had a problem. I think HE didn't want to think of his wife as an alcoholic or with some sort of 'problem' with alcohol. I also grabbed on to anyone and everyone that told me I probably wasn't, or that my drinking wasn't "that" bad.. it gave me permission to keep on killing myself in denial for many more years.

I knew, deep down, that I needed to stop. I knew that alcohol was a priority in my life, and that is a sick realization, one that I also protected for longer than I should have, because it should have and almost killed me.

It is hard.. it's especially hard at first, which is why most of us feel we couldn't have done it alone. Whatever that means to you, go for it. I don't use AA/Big Book.. but I know I couldn't have wandered around alone simply not drinking.. so I got help, any help I could.