This is GREAT!
REDUX you should consider a career in advertising. And Lahita, this
Some days I feel lonely and self doubt creeps in but then I play with my dogs and life seems better.
is hilarious! "Yeah, sometimes I miss him, but then I play with my dogs and don't." It's so understated and dismissive.
I"m separated from AH, we've left each other multiple times, this last time he "left" me after an affair, living with the b**** down the street, I took him back, he wouldn't stop talking to her, drinking, late night drunken verbal abuse and drinking our house into foreclosure. I had rented this sweet little house for all of us to live in but about 4 days later I caught him drunk texting the bimbo again so I said I was moving here alone with the kids.
But, somehow, he still left me. Still keeps saying, "I can't live with you because..." I'm too messy, controlling, change my mind a lot and he
doesn't agree with my lifestyle.
But up until a few weeks ago we still slept together, he called me on every break from work, everything, just like we were still married. In one month of being separated I caught him communicating with the bimbo AND signing up for four dating sites.
No Contact has given me immense freedom and peace of mind. For me, letting go of contact with him was scary, but I realized it was an old fear, like a habit. I don't want to know what he's doing. He doesn't give a rats a** about me, my day, my work. It's all about him. Except he can look like it's not, like he's a nice, understanding, wonderful guy. but he ain't, really, not to me at least.
Now I just need a job. I work part time for a non profit and also freelance, so my main focus is on getting more money. lots of folks dont' agree with this, but at this point, financial independance will fix all of my problems.
I still have to untangle from him emotionally at times, we swap the kids regularly and communicate about school, the health of my youngest son and other things but it's getting easier to be pleasant and detached. It's my choice and makes me feel excited for the future.
But--I'm sure I will come here some times angry or sad. The good news is I know how to grieve him. I did it last summer when he was living down the street with the piece of garbage he ran off with from work, after I busted him having the affair.
I still have to go back to our house (where he's living) and remove a majority of my things. That will be a lot of work and difficult, but I sort of feel like I can do anything after all of this. Besides, if I just play with my dog, he doesn't matter...
