Hi tigger11;
when dealing with active alcoholism, we must not seek logic, reason, or sanity for that matter. The alcoholics brain and mode of thinking is perverted and corrupted. They are very sick people as alcohol is toxic to the brain and all body cells in general.
I once tried to use reason and logic also and try to get answers but believe me, there are no answers short of the alcoholic deciding to seek sobriety.
So sorry for you but you would not be upset with a loved one with cancer that has invaded the brain causing them to be nasty....