Should I ask him why he's leaving me?
He informed me via a text message, while we were both at home, that he's leaving this weekend. He's never told me why. One day about 3 weeks ago, after I'd gone to ONE counselor meeting and ONE Al-Anon meeting that he was "done". He showed me his hand and announced that he'd taken off his wedding ring. I'd been out here on SR about a week and a half when he announced this, and was able to act strong and say; "okay". Then he said he'd be out by the end of the year. He has been looking for a job since April this year. And tonight he TEXTED that he's leaving this weekend.
I want to know why he's leaving me. But I know he'll have some angry, vague response along the lines of; "you know" and then say something about how I lie to him and myself and everyone else. He'll rehash all the terrible things he's told me in the last 2 years that we've been married. So I guess I answered my own question. No, I don't ask him why he's leaving. I just deal with the simultaneous pain and relief and feel whatever feelings come along, and heal and grow. Then I rekindle the friendships that I lost while I was with him, and see if I can scrape up some $'s to go visit my family scattered all 'round the country, and invite them to come see me. I learn how to deal with the mess of finances that I'm now in. I go to work do a good job.
But mostly, I need to heal and grow.
Oh... and then there's the question of divorce. He's never mentioned the word. If he does as he said he's done with his past two wives, he'll just coldly go through the necessary legal stuff and never speak to me again. I suppose I should be glad. I'll try... tomorrow... maybe.