SO, I've done steps 1,2,3 like a hundred times (okay, I am exaggerating) and I have faith that I can be restored to sanity. I came to believe and I don't want to use anymore. That feeling is gone. I know where that takes me and I just don't want to go there. But, the insanity is so apperant in so many other areas of my life. & I just want it to stop! GOD doesn't seem to be filling my void as much as 'they' say it should. Like, today for example. I feeeeel like I relapsed! I went shopping! Which is not something I can afford to do. I know the result, yet I did it anyway. Complete insanity. & the parallels between that and using were just unbelievable. The whole time I was at the mall, I felt like I was using drugs; I was telling myself I wouldn't buy anything, yet couldn't seem to stop myself. & same with sex. and other various things. I just can't seem to figure it out! Somebody please help me out!
