I am an alcoholic woman very early in my recovery. I have no problem with my husbands female sponsor in al-anon. I do have a problem that he has another female "friend" in the group that he is getting close to. He is pretty much the only man in the group and seems to have become quite a novelty in the group. Right or wrong I have trouble with the understanding that he shows these women that he never had for me. He was the abusive one in our marriage. I have been married to him for 16 years. The alcoholism has only been a part of our life for the last 3 years. His verbal abuse and lying has been there through our whole marriage. I resent that he is now seen as the poor long suffering spouse.
I know I need to let go of these resentments but although I am staying sober I feel like as he gets closer and closer to this woman we are getting farther and farther apart. If I keep trying to swallow these feelings of insecurity I know I will start drinking again.
I dislike the fact that if we have an argument he tells these women details. I think we need a professional for our personal marital problems but he refuses. We have a small group and I feel that there is no privacy or anonymity. If I try to talk to him about maybe going to a different town he becomes angry and tries to say that I am just trying to control him and keep him from being friends with this woman.
I am starting to think that I need to leave him so I can have a recovery without this stress and jealousy.
