daydream

For many years I've heard that ACA and ACOA are for abuse victims too, but the names of these groups imply they're for children of alcoholics. I've never gotten involved, because i never felt like I fit in. Yall tell stories about your parents being drunk and wasted and I cannot comment or identify. I have no basis for offering any ESH.

Neither of my parents has so much as tasted a drop of alcohol (or drugs) in their entire lives. Neither of them has even smoked a cigarette. But my father beat me, berated me and threatened my life for 18 years. My mother stood by and let him do it. And she berated me all those years as well, even to this day. There was no love or affection in our home. NEVER a hug or an "I love you". Ever. This abuse warped my sense of self, my ability to function in society, my ability to have meaningful relationships. I became an addict, bulimic and racked up a long list of mental health diagnoses. I have worked tirelessly to better myself and to overcome the effects of physical, emotional and religious abuse, and neglect. But at almost 42 years old, I am still struggling alone with it. Still having nightmares. Still struggling with self doubt ("ie it wasn't that bad, maybe they are right and I'm just crazy, maybe i am so stupid I can't even understand why I drove them to do it, etc) I am no longer in therapy as I cannot afford it, even with insurance the copayments are more than I can afford. Periodically I search online for abuse support groups and find none that are very active. I don't understand it. Abuse is prevalent, but support groups are not. There seems to be nowhere to go. I've found only a few, mostly inactive, support boards. If anyone knows of any truly active abuse recovery communities, please let me know. Even here on SR, there is no category for it although there seems to be a category for everything else.