Originally Posted by
imtheidiot 
I've worked daily to detach from him, his actions, to not react in anger...to not react at all.
I'm wondering if it's alright to feel anything at this point. I've spent so much time in the past raging and crying, begging and threatening, and now it feels like I'd be "giving in" or "reacting" in a very codie way if I let myself feel anything. It's like walking on a tightrope...
I think you are confusing
having feelings with
reacting to them. Recovery doesn't mean you stop having feelings. Recovery means you stop reacting to them in self-destructive ways.
Don't beat yourself up over having feelings. Congratulate yourself for not reacting to them in ways that harm you.
L