Originally Posted by
Hesmyfrankie 
We have verbally discussed the boundries, ie no drug use, no hanging out with anyone except girlfriend (not a user), go to adult education class, go with dad to work, go to meetings. I'm thinking of printing these on paper and going over them this evening with him. His probation officer is drug testing him Tuesday of next week. Should I even bring up the idea of an "at home drug test"? How strongly should I "suggest" NA meeting 2nite?
These sort of sound more like attempts to control him than boundaries for yourself.
Perhaps a way to reframe this, is that these are the house rules. In exchange for X, you expect Y. Not quite sure how one can enforce who he hangs with or mandate attendance at meetings.
Back when, I drove myself nuts with the issue of drug testing. I eventually concluded I did not want to be the warden. Actions tend to be far more reliable than any test.
Where is his head at? Is he committed to his own sobriety?
A dry drunk is a term used in AA for someone who is
not drinking and
not actively working a recovery program. I am not crazy about the labels, like this.
The primary goal is to abstain from substances.
My own take of the 12 Step Program is that it is a well honed process of addressing one's own character development issues.