I told him I was leaving him last night.
I told my boyfriend I was leaving him last night. While he hasnt been drinking as much as he did when we first started dating - his attitude and the way he treats me has become worse. Long story short - we broke up once last year after he became to mean to deal with. After 2 months we got back together. HE promised to try and be sober and go to counseling w/ me. He was sober 2 times this last year for about 2 months. Otherwise it was off and on. Counseling was great. We found out we are both depressed and got on meds - but other than that we learned how to communicate w each other and work things out while supporting the other person. We stopped going bc he started to work a ton of OT at work. Since then things have got worse - he lapsed on his 6 weeks of sobriety. He promised me 3-4 times he would stop - this has been in the last week. He has been mean, belittleing, inconsiderate, and just...awful since then. When he lapsed he told me he spent $80 at the bar - after checking the bank I found he spent $150 - so he lied AND that as money he owed me for making his car payment. I have cried myself to sleep more than once while he peacefully slept next to me. I had the flu this week and he was so uncaring - he had promised he would stay home w me and when that time came he refused to - said "Why would I stay home w you when you are sick?" Well why WOULDNT you? He has put me down and made me feel like I am less than what I am. I Dont know what to do - he apologizes and then the next day it starts all over again.
After talking to a close friend who knows about everything - I decided to break up with him. LAst night I was sick still and he didnt wanna be around me so he went and took a nap. I was tired of being alone so I said I was going to a friends house. I also told him I couldnt take this anymore and he needed to step up and take some action. He stared at me like I was a wall and went back to bed. When I got to my friends place I found out he went to the bar. He was so nasty to me when I was talking to him on the phone - mentioning that he ran into a friend of mine and she was ignoring him so I was probably talking sh*t to her about him. Things like that.
When he got home I broke the news. At first he was mad - he said "fine get out of my bed and get out of my shirt. I did and I didnt say anything and went to our guest room. After 20 minutes he came up and said he wasnt ready for our relationship to end. I said I was tired of waiting and that I had been begging him all week to step up and he hasnt. He begged me to talk to him the next morning and kissed me and said he loved me and even tucked me into bed in the spare room. I told him we could talk in the morning. Randomly about an hour later hear him curse and yell "Im moving in with my friend SO and SO tomorrow!" like in a defeated I hate you sort of way.
This morning he left and I sent him a text saying I would talk still if he wanted and if not that was ok too. He never replied. I stayed home sick again - not bc I am but bc Im too depressed to move. I dont even know if he is going to pay me the money that he owes me that I REALLY need to pay my bills. I lent it to him knowing he would pay me back this week but last night he made it obvious I was a last priority since I broke up w him.
I dont know what to do - I love him SO MUCH. But he has been so awful to me. If he leaves I dont know what Ill do. I was a good gf to him. I would have done anything for him. After all the times I lugged him into the house after I found him passed out drunk in the driveway...after sticking up for him when his family put him down...always being there for him. How can he be like this to me? Why?