Ashlee, I grew up not too far from you
, and I know what it's like to think of brimstone when you think of God. Personally--and I don't hold this pro/con anyone--I had my aha moment and nowadays I believe. Not through being told, 'cause I was, and I was not a very compliant learner, until 'it' happened... And 'it' happened when I was still drinking hard, which made for a young lady now absolutely terrified of lightning...
Do what's right & the rest will follow... I wouldn't have believed my own words ten years ago, but it does get better. And I believe you're on the right path towards sobriety (not that I know anything, of course). God will come to you in His own way of getting through to you... in a way that will matter to you. I don't/ can't know what that is. In my case it came down to a street on a hill... pretty insignificant but oh so vital at that moment in time.
Take care,
-TB, impressed by your 30 days