Thank you for the post, Lily...
I just wanted to add that you are ONLY truly co-dependent if you are contributing or accepting your husband's alcoholism.
In other words you do have the power to point your husband to treatment or AA meetings --if he doesn't accept that than you are not codependant and therefore should not feel guilty with that label.
Some people on this website may not agree, but your husband is the drinker and you are the victim. You should be commended for loving your husband enough to pursue giving him a chance at sobriety. We all should be so lucky to have wives/loved ones like that even though we don't deserve them. Keep up the good work to offer hope for all of us.