...except when to do so would injure them or others
step 9.
didn't want to hijack another's thread. But I struggle hugely with this caveat when it comes to disclosing the truth.
I see it invoked to keep quiet about misdeeds, affairs, thoughts, feelings, actions "in the past".
I am aware that I can only speak for myself here. But I cannot think of a single thing which divulged to me as an adult by another adult with whom I am on an equal footing (friends, partners etc), would harm me if it was the truth. I am a grown woman, if I experience hurt at the disclosure of another, or worry, or anger, I get to process those feelings and make choices and decisions.
Invariably it is the DEED that hurts me and MY reaction to it, not the disclosure. I am not a child, I have a right to my feelings and to work through them (with help if needed) how else do I grow? I don't want others predicting my reaction and withholding the truth based on that. I have experience of this, people not telling me of a partners numerous affairs "in the past" because they thought it would hurt me. Others not disclosing lies or a gossiping friend etc, in each of these occassions, I would have benefitted from the knowledge, because I made decisions based on the available knowledge and when it eventually came out, I was able to move forward leaps and bounds because I understood and was able to reconcile my gut with the reality.
I can understand a different dynamic may occur in parent/child, doctor/patient, boss/employee etc disclosures. But I don't want to be viewed as a child or parent by other adults with whom I pursue an equal relationship.
The steps are a program to provide a spiritual framework supporting the individuals using them, and this caveat undoubtedly helps them. The steps are geared to the individual within the program: any good that comes of it to others outside of the program is a bonus, but it bears no responsibility for those outside of it (and nor should it).
But in no other place do we get to predict the outcome for others. This part is glaringly jarring for me. So, those who use the steps can you shed any light on this?