Buying alcohol before 8 a.m.? I remember having a shot before 8 a.m. - to get my "fuel" for the morning. Isn't that just pathetic??? And then get my daughter ready for school. Pathetic.
But... for you and for me - don't look back. So you messed up. So what. That was then, this is now. Don't dwell on it, just move forward. In five years when we all are sober, sober, sober and have just a memory of how hard it was to stop, I'm sure we're still going to make mistakes with something else in our lives. We're not perfect. Move on and reconvince yourself that sobriety gives you so much freedom.
I usually drank because I felt I deserved to have fun and I knew having alcohol would make everything more fun. So I know what you mean. Then I started to drink to excape bad times too. Then a couple drinks weren't enough. My couple drinks would turn into.... who knows how much?
Good luck & know that everyone that reads your words are pressing for your success and know that you can do this. You can. You will. :-)