Anodyne

Hi there. If you're anything like me, it's about 3 am, you're having some super fun shakes, or a headache, or just plotting out exactly how you will have alcohol in your hands 1 minute after the gas stations start selling them again.

I'm old to the site, but still a virtual baby to recovery. I've run the mini gamut from "wow I love being here, you people are awesome" to "I'm perfectly fine (while I ruin my relationships, **** people off, and get thrown in jail) I don't need you too goods."

I'm on 42 says sober, which seems like a huge number, to me, and I have found that still, the middle of the night is the worst. I haven't told a lot of my real life friends about my problem, I just say no thanks when I am asked to go out to a bar or a club or a casino. Some people are apparently able to go to places like that and just not drink. at this point in time I am not one of those people, so I just don't go.

So, well, it's 3 am, I'm all twitchy, and I'm afraid to call anyone I know, because I don't want to bother people. If any of you are having hard times with the middle of the night, post in here, and we'll try and get some talking going on.