Welcome to SR AliceCaholic (I like the play on words!).
It sounds as though you are in the same spot I was, having to drink in order to function at all without going insane.
There is one big difference though, I had gone through the stage you are at now, you say that alcohol still works for you, well if your alcolism progresses like mine did, the alcohol will quit workiing as well, then I drank just because I had no choice but to drink.
Have you HONESTLY told your doctor how much you drink? How often you drink? What happens to you when you do not drink & what happens to you when you drink?
From what you describe you should really see a doctor. The doctor I saw told me that there was no way I could stop drinking SAFELY unless I was medically detoxed.
Once you get honest with your doctor then I would suggest a long term recovery program to help you stay sober.
BTW do not eleminate AA because of it's spirituality, I know quite a few aethiest and agnostics in AA. One can be quite spiritual without being religous, I count myself among those.