Thanks Everyone for your encouragement.... I go through such good times where I don't think about it at all then there are other times (like now) where all I do is obsess on it. I have a sponsor and I just feel like she must think "come on, get on with it already, we talked about this over and over again"
But I can't help it.... I know this is bad for me to say, but I loved drinking...
I just got to the point over the last year that I drank that it wasn't fun anymore... it became more a need. And too many bad episodes started to happen and my home life (not my work life) started to be come non-functional because of my drinking. I planned my evenings around what errands I needed to get out of the way so I can get home and start my drinking... So it is crazy to say all that and then to say... that I loved to drink.
again I go through all these emotions and they just spin in my head... and I go over and over it again.
Well thanks for letting me ramble... I needed to share.
Tina