Someone I have been in recovery with for many years relapsed about a year ago and was dead ysterday. She was very young and had so much to live for, she had got well and was getting on with her life and stopped doing teh few simple things she needed to do to stay clean sane and well.
This disease of addiction kills, thats all it does, dont bugger around with it. To give it up all you gotta do is accept that you need help.
Save your life, come on in now.