Hi Ginger,
So sorry to hear of your loss. When my father died, someone gave my mother a very important piece of advice that helped her get through: They said you can try to go around the pain, or under the pain, or over the pain, but eventually you will have to go through the pain in order to feel better.
Alcohol only helps you avoid the pain. Going through it will be hard, but use all your resources to get through it.
Best,
PL