im not the greatest of social persons either....people mistake me often for this great open warm social guy, but simply cause I don't have social fears doesn't make me want to surround myself with people all the time...it makes me stressed lol...
As a teenager I was living in dope-heaven here in the Netherlands...there was excellent XTC (back then it was the country's number one export product hahahaha, nowadays the quality is ****** and all mixed up with speed etc.), speed, weed with THC percentages up to 20%, you name it. And it was just TOO easy to get. It took me several years to change myself and my attitude towards life in order to give up the harddrugs. I filled the void with spirituality, mainly buddhism and meditation. Alcohol was never much of a problem to me luckely, I would get very drunk every once in a while but I would always end up smoking some weed before going to bed cause being drunk just wasn't satisfying enough, never has been
. I just have to deal with the fact that this is very drugged out country, it makes coming of harder, but once off, i think cause of the effort I have a better chance of staying of and conquering my disease,
So smoking weed always have been my thing...I could lock myself up for days, weeks, completely contend with being just high, playing video games and watching movies
. However there is always a turning point, what goes up eventually has to come down. The contentment changed into paranoia, headaches, chest pains, irrational thoughts and fears, etc. etc . you'll know the deal...
I'd like to play some games with you...read some post of you here and there and you seem like a nice guy. It's also good to meet a fellow pothead, most people on this forum are alcoholics and that used the make me think in the beginning of coming here that I was just a wuss with my little (compared to booze) addiction. However as í wrote above, I just to love the combination of getting high and play endless hours of videogames, so it's kinda a trigger to me. During the last few months I sold my WII, PSP, Playstation 2 and my DS. My gaming days are over. I replaced them with 'old-school' games such as chess, backgammon, sudoku puzzles. Slow paced, turn based games that help me relax instead of making me stressed more such as call of duty, counterstrike, smash brothers melee etc.
Im typing way too much, but right now i'm a bit on a detox high, day eight without smoking dope and day two without smoking sigs...I'm gonna take a hot shower and hot meal to calm down a bit....feel very good tough
take care.