I feel like we are in some stupid standoff to see who buckles first and calls!
Last time it was me and it was disastrous!
So, back to step 1 I go!
I am sorry you're still sick and please be very careful and keep in touch with your doctor. In spite of all that, I see your recovery shining here. I can't tell you how many times I have returned to Step 1, "I am powerless over___" to remind myself that the only person I can control is me, thinking I can control anyone else is an illusion.
The second line above jumped out at me. So many times I knew that MY methods were disastrous, and so many times I did them again and again, thinking each time that the outcome would be different.
That you recognize that is huge, and a big step in recovery.
Sending hugs because it isn't easy being us sometimes.
