for now me and my son are going to take all his stuff that's in the foyer and put it in the basement. tools and such. i never go down basement so at least i won't see that pile of junk. he had dirty clothes in the bedroom which i will wash and fold and put in his drawers. i'm not that mean. i do have somewhat of a heart lololol as for the other things little by little they will make it down the basement. that was his mantown. my house still needs a lot of work but with the friends i have they will help me finish with what i need done. the only thing the stinks is that everywhere i look it all reminds me of him. overtime i hope that those feelings will go away. i don't want to move from this house cuz this is where the kids were born and it's only 4 more years till they get out of high school and i actually like the house. i'll keep it until i can't afford it no more. if he fights for the house then i think i'll let the house forclose and neither of get anything from it. i'm okay with that. i paid all the mortgage while he sat on his butt and drank and didn't work much. i can rent an apartment.
i'm still very emotionally exhausted. just want to take a nap but am going to wait to tonight to sleep because maybe i'll get a good nights sleep.
it's hard. i'm not lonely. just sort of numb about the whole thing. i want to call him but that would be the worst for me. i'll find something else to do when the urge comes.
thanks all for replying and talk to you soon! hugs and kisses