If I was Santa Claus I would bring jerks the Miss Manners books. It seems they need it badly.
Cmon, you hurt at a relation and you hurt more afterwards? IS there any time when knowing you does not hurt? Ah yes... the first stages when you are acting as someone else.
I am glad I am out of that and you are, too, Free.
Better to mourn it now while you got your whole life to live healthily and HAPPILY than to waste decades in someone that only has pain to give others. This is nothing compared to what could have been.
As with reckless drivers - just stay as far away as possible and let them crash with someone else.
Hang in there :ghug3