For those of you that don't know my story, my mother is an alcoholic and I have enforced no contact for the last two weeks, due to her taking my son out on a tandom bike and by a pond in the park while she had been drinking heavily and then having a screaming row with my dad in front of him. (I only know because he told me - oh he is 4 year's old by the way).
After 18 long months of trying to help her get better and support her recovery I have been to my first ala-non meeting this week and learnt that Step 1. I am powerless over alcohol.
I decided rather than just ignore her to wite a detachment with love letter to her, which was thoughtful but firm about my boundaries that I don't want her around my son when she has been drinking. I thought I was prepared for what ever reaction I got from this????
I called my dad today to let him know to expect a letter from me, in case she decided not to show it to him and made out that I had attacked her. He said she is doing really bad, he doesn't think she is drinking but she's crying a lot, not sleeping and is really down. He is hoping that she goes to the doctor today and is very worried for her.
I felt literally like my heart was breaking, knowing that she is in pain. I feel like I want to help her and ease some of that pain. I feel guilty because I have taken away the best thing in her life (her grandson). I do hope I can keep strong and have the courage to stick to my conviction.
