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Mandjas, I'm glad you sound more at ease with the letter method. This truly has helped me. Certainly it never changed my mother (although throughout the years she learned that bullying me isn't going to get her anywhere--so that eventually stopped lol), but it helped me take a step back from the situation. There's nothing wrong with expressing concern to your mom in a letter and setting future limits. I look at it this way. When a person begins changing their behavior-for good or bad--we take inventory of the relationship and ask ourselves how much do we want to continue investing in this. What do i like about it...what don't I like. If we are not getting a good return on our investment, something needs to change. Either we start investing less time in the relationship or we set more limits on it. Nothing wrong with that. It is always good to take a moment to step back and ponder the direction that things are going. Sometimes we have to make adjustments in relationships because people are always changing--either for the better or worse.

Not sure what you meant by ur last question, but if u mean u would like to share ur letter--go ahead. I posted mine the other day. Feedback was very helpful to me b/c it was a big step that I was taking and needed encouragement. I love my mother, but not the negative things she has become.