Originally Posted by
takincareome 
Think of it in terms of a dance. You and your mother have a dance that you have been doing for years now. You both know the steps very well. But you have decided you want to start doing a different dance, one she doesn't know the steps to. She doesn't like that, because she wants to keep dancing with you the way you did before. But that's not working for you anymore. Her choice is HER choice, not yours. But you need to do the dance that is best for you.
i love the analogy!
also, if u don't know how to confront her, try doing it in a letter and keep it simple and to the point. Don't argue her points if she puts on a guilt trip or gets defensive, etc. In my case, it is better to write in a letter b/c on the phone and in person it is easier for me to lose focus...give in, accept her lame excuses and just continue in her dance that leads to nowhere genuine....and onto a path that enables, excuses, and justifies her actions. Plus, on the phone and in person, i might be more prone to get emotional--cry, yell, and end up getting more upset--wasting more energy, etc. This way, it will allow u to take a step back and look at the overall picture without getting sucked into her world. Theres nothing wrong w/ taking a step back, seperating urself to evaluate a situation/relationship.
good luck to u!